the facts cited in this text, referring to my experience as a parent and cited in chapters 2, 3, 4, 5 and 6 really happened.
I wanted to "cut" at least half of all my experience that has condensed from a not so distant September, in 2013 until June 2014 in order not to transmit anguish, my goal is to make you aware and anticipate the moves to be introduced.
Everything happened in Milan between Città Studi, Tricolore, Guastalla, De Amicis, Magenta, Colonne, Arco della Pace. The boys mentioned have existed and I believe (and I hope) still exist, someone has already crossed the prison doors in both directions, several are in recovery facilities and I don't know much about their current destiny of others, I just hope that are living a peaceful life.
My son has been back in line since June 2014 and is on par with his studies and especially with life. Of course he lives in a world like now, I will tell you, so if we don't try to improve this metropolitan style that has taken a “left” drift, none of us can say that we are really well and safe.
This is why I decided to write, to shake our consciences can serve the good cause, because pretending that everything is fine, ... better not to talk about it, it does not help to solve the problem, otherwise we would not have reached this point and to wish Me together with you, not to go beyond points of no return, I give you this book, an opportunity for reflection and examination of conscience.
Enjoy the reading, the author.
In my experience as a parent, I have learnt two things for sure; nobody is or ever will be fully prepared for the job. Although it’s a desire of many to create a family, sometimes it doesn’t work out as planned. It can be challenging and occasionally, we as parents are not always to blame when things go off track. Equally, I don’t think it’s correct to give credit to “mom and dad” when a child is born with a great and natural talent.
Another home truth: we as parent are ready to give everything to our children but we are not prepared for the spider web of outside influences surrounding our children. We feel these spider webs because we live our lives tangled in them. We are no longer the principle role models in the lives of our children. We must leap over many obstacles just to communicate and create a relationship with what once was our innocent young toddler.
There is no one effective way to overcome these obstacles. They’re all around us. Advertisements, music and films like the “Gomorrah” which glamorizes criminal activity and a gangster lifestyle. Examples of brazen and reckless behaviour published online and followed to such an extent that it becomes a trend. Who suffers? Those who don’t “fit in” smile because they do not share the same lifestyle or interests as their peers. Which box does your child fall into? Your pride and joy, at times, seems almost unrecognizable.
I find myself asking,
“Is that my child !?”
Chapter 3 - A typical day for a 13-year-old.
At school, boys are very often faced with a choice: be commanded or command respect. If he chooses the second option, you may find your son on the way to becoming bully. The teachers are unwilling (not hard to believe) to stand up to a class of 20 something pupils among whom more than half are rude and going through their tough guy phase. As a result, the boys are forced to defend themselves against bullies by almost taking on the bullies way of thinking… if you can’t beat them join them. This very thing happened to a young man. A young man who we will call by his invented name “Rocco “. He has typical features of a young male of today, physically he seems a lot older than his years, well dressed, outgoing, sociable, almost in some ways enviable. I mean he has it all. However, with teenaged minds that don’t yet understand evil or pain, he thinks when they smile at him and treat him like he is a part of the group it means they are his real friends …. that’s how they lure him in. The cool kids at school involve him in their stories of everyday life, include him in their tight knit circle, but in fact it’s just to make him do things that will cause damage and have nothing to do with friendship. Smoking (this is the first approach, to pin point when the bullying started) because if you are “cool“ you will smoke a joint with your friends. Then, if you have the money, or should I say if your family has money, they will harass you even more to be a part of the gang in a way to make this money accessible to everyone in the group. They tell you they will pay it back when they have it or it’s your turn to buy the weed.
“This joint that you smoked with the two of us will cost you €50“
We are in the Autumn of 2013, after a few months Rocco had accumulated hundreds of euro in debt ……so it’s time to start paying it back. He had lost track of how much he spent on smoking. Panic sets in. The Prada jacket, the new Nikes are delivered to his new group of “friends” to sell at the black market. It doesn’t cover the costs of months of drug use. The pressure rises to pay the money back. Gold is brought from the family home to school, the over 18’s of the group go to a pawn shop to collect the money of the sold family gold as it’s part of the debt they are collecting.
Rocco is my son. I’m talking about my own son.
When I found out what had happened to Rocco, I had to add to my experience of monitoring, surveillance, checking his cell phone, computer, combing Milan with a fine-tooth comb trying to find the golden stolen. After hours of searching, I made a blitz in Via Amicis, reconstructing the events that took place a few days before, trying in vain to recover the gold that was handed over for just €200 for a weight of 50 grams. Legal action was taken against two boys in Rocco’s group of new friends. Two brothers, one an adult and the other underage. To this day the charges are still pending.
One day I used Rocco’s sneakers to go jogging, he never used them. Before lacing them up, I decided to wash them, I removed the insides and found a counterfeit €100 banknote. It didn’t take a lot to figure out it was false. I broached the subject using every ounce of self-control I could muster and took time to reconstruct the facts. The older boys told him that to buy the hash from the North Africans, it was better to use a counterfeit note if he could peddle it, so in addition to buying hash, he would also make a profit by not using his own real money. All this at 13 years old. I found myself facing a dilemma? Instinctively I would have used my two fists but every day would be a risk, when he goes to school, he goes out on Thursday nights. He hangs out under our apartment block in Piazza Risorgimento, also on Fridays and Saturdays. His friends call all the time and they don’t give up and for him it’s a question of pride, an only child, he wants to have friends he can socialise with. The big problem is the strategy: when to act, that means, who do you get involved (parents, schools, police) You need someone that will follow you in this underground world, to find your son, unconscious, unaware, him being aware was my first obstacle.
Nervousness and irritability in Rocco alternated in moments of stillness. I noticed (so did his mom and grandparents) that if you brought up the topic of creditors it would cause mood swings. One day I took his phone away and grounded him for three days which helped with keeping away the buddies but it also meant he was out of school. The messages and texts that came in during those three days were insane …. he was threatened, as were his mother and father, if the money wasn’t paid back. They didn’t care how; they just wanted their money. There were phone calls in which the caller didn’t realize it wasn’t Rocco on the other end. The language as you can imagine, there way of expressing themselves “….hey ….” , “…weh… “ “….sup …. “I want my money “. I answered with abbreviations and the conversation lasted until I discovered what kind of game they were trying to play. I put the record straight, explaining that Rocco is minor, they had to deal with me, not him. On the other end of the phone, let’s call him by an alias,” joe jail “, his name was saved like this in my son’s phone. He threatened me and said he was not afraid to cross me. I couldn’t have asked for more. Black motorcycle jacket, jeans, sneakers, gold watch removed so not to cause trouble if a scuffle was to arise. I asked him “when and where?” - Porta Romana at 11pm. This was one of the moments of tension when I asked for support from some professionals in the “Nuclear Investigation anti - drug team Moscova, my friends of twenty years, they knew the whole story and they, for me, where the only point of reference. It was humiliation for me to confide in them, I had always maintained a cordial friendship and mutual respect, having to talk about Rocco in such desperate events.
They fully understood the state of mind as a parent who wants to tackle the situation hands on, pushing the panic and anguish aside. without blinking an eye, these heroes, who volunteered to stay in the area in case I needed or asked for their intervention. I met “Joe Jail” who my son had a debt of €80, but since it was a long time since he had taken out the debt, it has doubled with interest to 120€. The truth, despite the long scar on his forehead that made him “nasty and daring“ a swaggering stride, 1.65m in height with just one slap I could have launched him through the window of the bank that was two meters from us. When I began to calm down and focus, I remembered who was standing in front of “Joe Jail “the father of Rocco, I became a little more diplomatic and polite, began to understand, I think that in life there are certain people who will do more harm than good to my son. I gave him the money and told him if my son ever received one phone call or text that I would deal with him in a very different manner using all the force I could within the extent of the law. I let him go and signalled my friends ……for just a moment I felt a part of the Nuclear Investigation anti-drug team or something similar.
Chapter 4 - Typical Teenager
Let’s do an overview of the situation and the dangers; at school, friends two years ahead of him let him hang out with them, well dressed, it’s obvious he has money, in addition to appearing cool, extroverted, he’s curious about new challenges then put into the hands of older kids who can squeeze money out of him, teach him about girls, introduce him to the one he likes. He welcomed them with open arms. This need to be always connected, or over connected on multiple social sites at the same time, leads to a fateful and inevitable departure from the rules of the family, not that it’s a weakness of the parents, it’s just that the new lines of communication distract and suck the attention of our teenagers more than any drug ever could. It is no coincidence that I’m using this comparison, because this is social media, an excellent ground to grow every kind of social deviance (alcohol, cannabis, bullying) it’s normal, not hearing the voices of family members, but hearing music with the wrong message. Photos and movies that are not in any way educational, and so on, it’s a slippery slope to losing your way
Italy is slightly below average with reference to the skills of young people the teaching methods used for the development of these skills is students and the promotion of their use in the workplace.
The organization for economic cooperation and development (OECD) announced that Italy has 17.75% of young people under 25 have dropped out of school before finishing the level of education required by law and they are not following any other kind of educational and professional training.
In Europe we are second last, behind us only Spain with 23.2 % of teenagers dropping out before finishing secondary school.
The cause of school drop-out are mainly cultural, social and economic – that. The children who come from socially disadvantage environments and from families with low level education are more likely to drop out of school before achieving their high school diploma.
Gender is another factor: to leave school early are more boys than girls. There are also individual motivations that can push early school leavers and among these, a considerable amount has anxiety disorders.
The problem is fairly widespread in 15-18 year olds, particularly among those who have problems socializing in big groups or for example with public speaking, they develop a phobia of the school environment, panic attacks etc. These children, interested in culture, learning and education, who want to complete school but simply don’t make it due to lack of support with the high levels of stress that school environments induce.
Early school leaving is generally considered a very worrisome because it affects young people and the future of society. School leavers are at greater risk of unemployment, poverty and social exclusion. A person who has no education, in fact, is typically bound for a life of a precarious and poorly paid work often under qualified compared with others who have a different social background and at least in theory, those who have had a high level of education. Peraltro, a place that aspires to be modern and technological advanced must rely on the use of skilled labour.
The day (and the dangers) continue
Once the school morning is finished, we arrive in the afternoon, walk in the direction of the local schools, where often there are small time dealers, the guys who should stay in class but instead are hovering around the streets close to the school, selling some weed or smoking joints and cultivating new clients!
Every so often I would go to “surprise” Rocco in front of his school, in a zone near to our family home called Via Amicis - and who do I meet one day on my travels? The boy with the scar across his face aka Joe jail.
Me: You still hang around these parts?
JJ: Why wouldn’t I be here? I can’t hang out on my block?
Me: Theoretically yes, but that pretty much depends on what way you decide to behave. My friend you seem to have misunderstood, with me one word is enough but two words are too much; I already told you that you are to keep away from my son and everyone in his year group, do I make myself clear?
JJ: I get it! I get it ……but who gives a fuck about your son? Because I certainly don’t.
After this corral meeting full of interesting ideas, I called the principal and I reported him, Joe Jail, for the second time, explaining that he was hanging around then school, the principal tried to reassure me saying that the situation was under control. I couldn’t be reassured in that moment, after seeing what I saw and hearing what I had heard, I defiantly wouldn’t have said that the situation was under control. The headmaster, friendly and helpful, but often held down by red-tape - I think it happens that some parents disagree with school rules but arrive at a certain point where they feel they have made a mistake, feeling perhaps pressured by everything that occurred in that period. The school be contacted by the district police station in PT Genova. I gave my number to the chief commissioner and informed him that I am a parent who was monitoring my son and areas of Milan where I knew drug deals went on.
The Chief commissioner phoned me and asked to meet up because she understood I was aware and in the loop of who these “bullies” were, and I knew that area well. In this situation, I found myself in luck, sometime after I went to the police station, where I presented a detailed complaint - where, and who. was selling/dealing drugs.
Chapter 8 - What are the solutions
The parenting experience that I have been involved in several years ago, especially from 2012 to 2013, has led me to a long and articulate reflection that has been the subject of debates and exchanging ideas and opinions with professors of schools, psychotherapists, Investigators.
The first analysis led me to a reasonable understanding that the teenage experience experienced by young people without serious irreversible risks was greatly reduced in terms of percentage.
As parents, when we have the problem to be sure that our children do not "crap", unknowingly we do not know where to get tools and knowledge to achieve this goal.
The academic world is "running out" of instruments, as with great will and should be supported as already happens with some pilot projects in Lombardy.
The scientific aims, for what it has been my experience, made of meetings and exchange of ideas with industry professionals, low effective solution incantate on “labelling” of Millennials, the more the defined times borderline and not fully understood and other times suggesting drug routes in my humble opinion not advisable for many failures. Perhaps these are not the answers we seek.
Investigators in the forefront of a metropolis with crimes of any kind - murders, rapes, robberies, accidents, thefts, and so on - often have no resources to intervene, even on minor offenses such as micro-sites and all related offenses These affect the social fabric by now with very worrying percentages often not intervening .... before CLICK.
With my modesty and reasonably consciousness, I have acted autonomously and in accordance with my spirit of initiative, which was based on a sense of ethics and participation and contribution to social problems, especially those that could overwhelm my son and reflected his peers. I've put on the most effective and costly weapon, devoted all the time actively by knocking risk-sensitive areas, youth gathering places such as Guastalla and some downtown cafes and pubs, and then the school in the neighbourhood.
I monitored the use of the mobile phone and social account, finally, I had to act first to confront some of the elements that were much bigger than him and I gathered information asking around. Currently I have an ongoing process as already mentioned, against two boys, which led my son to engage in illegal acts - theft and cannabis use.
My proposal, as you may have guessed by now, is the result of truly lived experience and that has proved effective and decisive in safeguarding one teenager, my son: it cost me a lot, I had to open the door - in those months - the job, taking some professional risk, my head was always on the same issue and the conclusion that followed was that a parent often cannot do it all alone, we need an infrastructure as lean, both modern and efficient geared to new solutions to new problems , as we mentioned, that wind of unimaginable paths, unknown and there was no historical "recipes" for success on what to do.
My program is summarized below;
In the school.
Teachers should be supported by the institutions to be more motivated to play the role of educators often complex at certain times even impossible.
The local government would like the idea of inserting some sort of outlet, a help desk etc for teachers and parents or boys: available a team of professionals (even young interns), psychologists, or coaches (coaches) who can do a job of tracking and "motivation" for the teachers, it’s not always easy when faced with tough characters in the classroom often complicated and delicate.
We need to reposition the roles of the professor and the roles of the student and the success rates in this regard. In my plan, I would always try to get the phone companies to collaborate with school and parents to create a safer environment for our children online. All mobiles would be in the name of the parent or legal guardian and a good idea could be to put in place time limits e.g.. from 8.00 until 14:00 social networks would be open to surf but after 14:00 become blocked.
Local institutions (municipalities, provinces, regions) need to be closer to the needs of the teaching body, to motivate them to do more inclusive work, to aggregate young people and not to accentuate and marginalize those less fortunate. Today, the percentage of young people who drop out of school or don’t graduate is too large and growing increasingly and certainly does not diminish, sometimes it is the virtual world that takes them away from reality, family rules, and real society (family, school). The main goal is to bring the child closer to the goals that lead to proper insertion into society, not to a future of crime and violence.
Internet sites need to be safer.
It cannot be accepted that in many schools, in some nightclubs, there is a huge amount of drug use. Significant phenomena throughout the city in all metropolitan areas are subject to similar risks. It is a viral and transverse phenomenon. For this reason, Commerce administrators should create a heavily controlled work environment. It’s unacceptable that any boy (or girl) who is underage can walk into any supermarket, off-license or bar and buy a drink. This is where the administrators need it to be stricter to enforce the law that is in place. We need to protect are youth if we want to be sure of our futures.
For places of public meeting, it is necessary to involve and promote initiatives already established over the years in the area. The voluntary organizations already present in the city - that did not happen, give their contribution for the homeless, for example, that could be part of the supervisory bodies of the public areas as a form of deterrence with the identities of teachers and allow the public to have say.
With a form of control of the territory, it would have made it harder for criminals, without transforming the city into a state of police that we do not want and maybe we cannot afford. This would help dissuade the aggressors from acting as if they were free to do whatever they want. I did this for my son. At the same time, it would be beneficial to let the Order's forces defer to other forms of major metropolitan crimes, reducing state costs for many emergency calls.
In response to the cyberbullying phenomenon, you write a protocol of international cooperation with the states of residence, the Major World Social (Facebook, Instagram, google, Microsoft, WhatsApp, messenger, YouTube), so a European axis - united under the which each authority enforces the law and fellows the regulations made. A classic case that happened on September 13, 2016, was that of Tiziana Canton's (suicide) instigation: our intelligent forces (the postal police) should have accessed the data in the Major servers where there were uncharted files that concerned the victim of the offense immediately and could remove them all, which is impossible according to the "status quo" of international standards. These data generate incredible traffic and you know that with them they bring an increase in turnover. As much as a major internet can be granted free range when does it stop? Until we have been denied human rights. A state of privacy must enable the privacy of every individual. To date, China and Russia do not have access to Google, Facebook and the various western societies. There is, in their countries, something similar, their own google,perhaps for the dreaded problems that we have in Europe.
There are safer tools for sharing sensitive data at various levels without compromising the system in its entirety and this aspect must be developed. I, for the sake of this line of resolution, reside in Europe until I get to the United States, if I'm not stopped by bigger and more insurmountable problems.
Chapter 11 - The evil that unites the West
It is incredible to imagine that a large area of the planet has such a sad common denominator, as if it were and in some ways it is, an epidemic that claims victims.
In practice, wherever there is a "connected" lifestyle and a Western lifestyle, therefore having to deal with some forms of addiction, one is exposed to problems related to Cyberbullying and all the implications that harm the so-called web-reputation.
Months ago, a reader wrote to me via Messenger that in the United States there is a character, (my namesake by vocation and dedication to the cause, so to speak), who, in an even more articulate and complex way than we do in Italy, faces the question of the problems that characterize the “millenials”, and I must say that since then I have followed him and have also established a contact via the web.
What he tells, speaking of American boys, seems to describe boys who live in Italy, in Milan, Rome, Florence, Naples, Palermo, but instead are New Yorkers, or Chicago, or Miami.
Basically they live in a world marked by 5 aspects, according to this scholar whose name is Simon Sinek:
• the family,
• the school,
the environment around them.
Given that the role of the Head is confused in a hierarchical context, whether it is the Family and consequently the school to conclude with society, they are difficult to manage; Even just having an interview relationship with them is a difficult task, it is difficult to communicate, they think as the only important thing for them that everything is due to them and for this reason they are narcissistic, selfish, dispersive, lazy. In this overturning of the pyramid of values and human respect we often ask them: “what do you want from life, what do you expect from the company you belong to and from the world of work you are about to enter?”. The answer often goes like this: “… We want to work in an environment that has a purpose”… right!
“… We want to make our mark, whatever that means. We want free food and comfortable seats ".
But despite this, they are still not happy. According to a scientific analysis by therapists, doctors, scholars, a piece is always missing to complete the maturation process of these people, a bit like a puzzle of which a piece always remains in our hands. So, deepening the 5 aspects mentioned, we can say that many of them grew up under the effect, in few words, of their families' failed educational strategies. For example, they are told that they are special… anytime and anywhere!
That they can have everything they want from life, just because they have been told and promised in some way. Many of theme enter super school classes (I speak of the American model, but you will agree with me that we have the same problem in Italy and in Europe) not because they deserve it, but because the parents had complained about the school, the teachers and how they come awarded prizes to their children, and so the high marks received, not because they deserve them, but because teachers often do not want to trouble with their parents. If you think about it, it is crazy how all this resembles the Italian model, forgetting that we have a much older and more solid history in education and social values than almost all Western countries. Today we share the same discomforts of any Western society that has nothing or almost nothing of what we have been carrying for centuries and centuries of history! Many receive medals… for being last! The science is clear on this aspect, Sinek argues: a devaluation of the medal and the acknowledgments of those who work hard, makes those who arrive last feel embarrassed, because he knows that he has not deserved it so over time he will feel definitely worse. Let's imagine these kids, at the end of their schooling and then when they finish university, they find a job, they are thrown into the real world and in an instant they discover that they are not special, that their mother cannot give them a promotion, that if you arrive lastly, they don't give you any medals, you don't get something just because you want it, and in that instant the idea they had of themselves, the result of family education passively supported by the school world for the above reasons, shatters, with the disastrous consequence that we find ourselves a generation growing up with lower self-esteem levels than ever.
Instagram, FB, and many other social networks are part of that world where we are all good at putting filters on the things we publish, even to ourselves. We are able to show people that life is great, even if we are depressed, so we all look beautiful and that we understand everything, but the reality is that few are persistent and with a really solid life, most have not understood first of all, therefore, when people with more experience than them ask them for their opinion on a choice to make: "... what do we do?" they answer: "... this is how you have to do it!" even if they don't know what they are talking about. This generation that grows up with lower and lower levels of self-esteem, and through no fault of their own, these kids have had bad luck, the misfortune of finding only comfortable ways to go.
Let's move on to the part that concerns technology, which "furnishes" their lives, so the other problem that adds up to the other previous ones is that they grow up in a world made up of Social, not real human relationships. They know that thanks to the interaction with social media and our smartphones, a substance is released, dopamine; that's why when we receive a nice message we have a good feeling, and if you sometimes feel a little down, you text a few friends to say hello, so when you get a reply from the greeting you will have a good feeling , of relief! This is why we count the LIKE we receive on our posts published continuously or check if our "INSTAGRAM" does not grow enough and we ask ourselves:
"what is happening?? What am I doing! ... why don't you like me anymore !? ”.
... Do you think what a trauma for kids when a friend takes them away or denies their friendship, or blocks them.
... but true friendship is another thing entirely!
... Because when a like arrives, we know there is a dopamine "hit" that makes you feel good. Pay attention to this step: this is the same substance that makes us feel good when we smoke, when we drink, when we bet ... in other words, technology is very, very addictive. We have age limits for smoking, for betting, for drinking alcohol but no age limit for the internet so giving the 12-year-olds, but also the youngest ones, the opportunity to use the internet or technological tools such as video games is like telling them: " you feel a little down for your adolescence, do things that develop dopamine "with the same negative effects of alcohol, tobacco, gambling. In this way we are responsible, knowingly or not, for creating an entire generation exposed to a numbness in the lifestyle, which creates addiction to chemicals through the technology available to them, during a period of high stress such as adolescence. This is an important step, almost all alcoholics discovered the substance during adolescence, a phase of life in which the only approval needed is that of our parents. Today, however, the only acceptable approval for these young people seems to be that of their peers and it is very frustrating for parents, feeling excluded in a very important moment for adolescents because it allows them to be gratified and feel included outside the family environment. it is a very stressful and anxious phase and they should also learn to trust and grow together with others albeit with due caution but putting on a scale of values, first the Parents and the family, then the teachers and the school finally those who will be their superiors in the world of work. Some discover alcohol and the numbing effects of dopamine that helps overcome the stress of adolescence; unfortunately this creates a negative conditioning in their brain, so it is very likely that in the course of life, when they feel stressed, they will not turn to a friend, a family member, an authentic point of reference to talk, but to the bottle, to the Internet, to gambling. Social, financial, career stress are the main reasons why an alcoholic drink. Here is what is happening, giving free access to our daily habits to these devices that produce dopamine, the brain, as time goes on, gets used to the conditioning of these devices and everything that comes through them and the boy no longer knows how to create serious and deep relationships with other people, experiences that are needed in the serious path of one's existence to grow in a healthy way. It is well known that many of the relationships they have are superficial, many guys don't trust their friends normally, they know that if something better comes for them, they will disappear. The concept of a deep relationship no longer exists because one is not trained to seek and cultivate true friendships, solid human relationships. But what is even more serious is that our children are not well aware of the defense mechanisms against stress. I repeat, when they have a problem that will make them uncomfortable they will not turn to a person but to a device, to a social media, which generates relief. The science is clear in this area: those who spend more time on Facebook or any other social network suffer more from depression than those who use it less. The correct balance of all that surrounds them is fundamental. And so, it is well known that alcohol is not bad, but a lot of alcohol is bad, we can bet we can say, it's fun, betting too much and it is often very dangerous. When we are having dinner with friends and we text not putting aside the smartphone, it is a problem. If we are in a meeting and we check the cell phone and the messages all the time, this is a serious problem, because you are there to listen and talk to people, colleagues, friends ... So you put it on the table face down. This is a subliminal message to those around you to say, "you are not that important to Me". When you wake up in the morning and before you say good morning to your girlfriend or look in the mirror, you check your mobile phone, all this is addiction, Addiction with all the implications of the case.
This style will steal your time, money and make your life worse. So we have a generation not properly prepared to deal with stress and with low, low self-esteem.
Moving on to the 4th point, the sense of impatience, we can say and repeat that the Millenials have grown up in a world where everything is immediately given to them. Do you want to buy something? Go to Amazon (this book is also on Amazon!), Tomorrow you receive it.
Do you want to see a movie? For example, you connect to Netflix and watch a movie, you are not obliged to respect the times of a programming. This is Binge-waching "TV binge" You don't even have to wait a day. There are people who skip entire seasons of TV series to be able to see them all together and immediately until the end, in a continuous and uninterrupted way without respecting a timing diluted over time. Binge-waching is one of the stress tests to be taken to participate in that crazy and risky game that leads to suicide founded by a 26-year-old Russian boy (a psychopath) with a degree in philosophy, Philipp Budeikin, now famous "Blue Whale ". He had created "three pain groups / communities" between 2013 and 2016 and many deaths from suicide are attributable to him - over 120 - unofficial data that I had dealt with in January 2017 and which was the subject of controversy in April-May for television services not built on certain data, of which I had initially been contacted for an opinion on the service that some television authors wanted to broadcast and I explained well that one had to be careful with certain and not exactly clear data . Social phenomenon to be evaluated in the context of a province of Russian rural extraction. Impatience often means instant gratification.
Do you want an appointment? You don't have to learn to wait or earn the goal over time, you have the social mechanisms, you can have everything you want right away! And I add debasement of the flavor of the goal achieved and of the success gained. It is a pity that this mechanism does not work at work to keep relationships stable. For these there is no App, they are rightly slow processes, and therefore inconvenient, somewhat obscure and unlikely.
If you talk to a young graduate, therefore brilliant and with life ahead, sociable, willing, at his first job and ask "how's it going?" it is possible that he will answer you: “I think I will quit! Because I'm not leaving my mark. ”, Even if it's been there for a short time. It is as if he were at the foot of a mountain to climb and he lives with this abstract concept of the sign to be left on this Earth which for him is to reach the top without seeing the mountain. It doesn't matter if you climb it slowly or quickly but that you have to climb it; the truth is that our kids have to learn the concept of patience. Love, work, happiness, are all concepts that are obtained with patience, things necessary for life, but to obtain them it takes time. Sometimes you can be brilliant and fast but the whole path is slow, arduous, long and difficult. And if you don't ask for help and learn those skills, you will fall off that mountain or you will see the worst scenario, which we are already experiencing, that is, an increase in suicides, drug overdoses, because more and more children are leaving school or abandon it. for depression. In this perspective, at best, we will have a generation that will never find happiness and will never achieve complete personal satisfaction. So at work, our kids will live their lives like this.
"how is work going?" "good"
"How's your love life?" "good".
The 5th and last aspect is the environment that surrounds them. This fantastic generation of brilliant and gifted guys who have only had bad luck for being set up badly, is to immerse themselves in the world of work, which is the culmination of a training path. Compared to a career and a path of growth they are interested in more and less time (in just one year, for example) to achieve all the results; placed in a corporate environment and thus set up, they will not improve their self-confidence, they will not learn to cooperate with capacity, and all this will not help them to overcome the challenges of a digital world and to find more balance and therefore to learn to overcome the need for instant gratification. They will not know the joy of a path in which they will find satisfaction, when you work hard on something for a long time and not in a month or in a single year. Unfortunately, they will think it is their fault, making everything worse.
I am here and I hope you with me now and over time: it is not their fault! There is a total lack of positive leadership, this is what makes them feel this way, it is not their fault and I am sorry to say it but it is the responsibility of the adult world, of companies, of the Society of which we adults are the representatives; we don't have many possibilities to solve all this, it would have been better to say that parents and society could have done better, but it has not and it does not happen. We are the ones who brought them this far and now we have to solve the problem. We need to work harder to understand how to help them. Build their confidence, self-esteem, give them "the instruction booklet" to make them understand the meaning of work, cooperation, in meetings and relationships in which human relationships prevail, not smartphones, but to be interested in dialogue, in talking with others more and less. Establish human relationships, make oneself available to others (blessed Civic Education, which is no longer taught in school !! Establishing human relationships, making oneself available to others (blessed Civic Education, which is no longer taught in school !! (this is an important point of mine) thus creating confidence in a slow and constant path, so we have a duty to create contexts in which a spark turns on a light and marks a path and a goal. We have to help this fantastic generation of idealists, dreamers, intelligent, facilitate in handling social skills, facilitate the right balance between technology and human social relations.